Restrain..

I've never had the guts to slap you across the face...doing that would be like stomping on my own heart. But don't ever think its because you've never deserved it..

Stuck

"I need inspiration....well? what are you waiting for?!?...talk with me, fight with me or joke around with me...fill my heart with words and my mind with ideas. Let's face it, its what your best at."

A Note To The New Guy

Um…stop being nice nd stop talking to me okaii?? You’re making me feel happy nd the last time somebody did that, well, it didn’t really work out. Yes I like that you like to text me about random nonsense nd I like that you are always the first one to strike up a conversation…nd I even like the fact that you act like such a stubborn child sometimes…nd that you’re fun. BUT, I don’t like that you’re taking up all my daydreams nd making me hope again. Let’s get one thing straight, I’ve been hurt, I do not hope anymore, I do not trust anymore….don’t get me wrong I wanna…but…I don’t think I can. Why? you ask?…Ask Him.

m&m's make me smile..

So yu ask for a poem..
...a sonnet, a haiku, a pick up line yu say?
Well, i guess yu're in luck!
Seems that I am inspired by handsome strangers.
...anything? yu ask?
i laughed nervously at the negation in my thoughts,
but the smile yu put on my lips had already decided.
So here's this...poetic banter?
Not sure what to call it.
It has no ryhme or rythm but it's directed to yu!
Sitting quietly nd lonesome nd in a most apathetic mood...
only to be engaged in delightful chit chat with a known stranger.
So here's this bannter of some sort...
...to thank yu for the smile..

And the day I thought I'd never get through... I got over yu.

Well..smile handsome, I'm over you. I have discovered something over the last week or so. I discovered that I have achieved true luve. I luve you..enough to let you go for good. Enough that your happiness is the only thing that matters to me, and enough that I mean all of this wholeheartedly. While it has been stated nd restated that you broke my heart..i luve you nonetheless. No matter what happens, I want you to remember that. I luved yu once, luve yu still. Always hav, always will. Hehe. Do not mistake this revelation to mean I still desire yu to be mine. I don't. I guess yu can say I luve yu in the sense that yu are extremely important to me..but I don't want yu. I will always be protective of yu because there was a time where yu stood in my shoes. We were n'sync, I know how yu felt once upon a lonely day. Nd though I might not kno how it feels like to belong to someone nd hav them be yours, I will relish in your happiness for it brings me satisfication. I must stop a moment to say that I honestly never thought I would be in this position, saying what I am, nd yet keeping my cool about all this with a smile at the thought of your bright eyes. ....I want yu to kno something. Everyday, at 11:11 am nd pm...I pray for yu. Nd today?...well I surprised myself for praying for her too. Even though yu might not want to kno this, I will tell yu anyways..I will ALWAYS be here for yu. There is nothing yu can say or do that can drive my compassion nd understanding away from yu. Not those words that hurt me, or that new attitude you've picked up..or the young girl sitting so comfortably next to yu. Before yu were my almost, yu were my best friend...nd though I hav lost the title, I stay tru to my duties as one.. I am disappointed in how everything played out, indeed I am. But I cherish your memory despite of everything. I was right yu kno. I was best friends with some lucky girl's Mr. Right. But that's just it, yur still my friend. I can't forget yu, the thought is ridiculous. Like they say; trying to forget someone you luve is like trying to remember someone you've never met. Since the day I got to kno yu, I knew yu were special. Nd though I've cried my share of tears, nd the shares of others, I still belive that. Because evrything I went through in life nd everything I am going through is to make me strong. I understand that. When I saw yu with her...I realized I was sincerely happy for yu. I put aside the unfairness of your smile in contrast to my hidden frown, nd suddenly I felt... happy for yu...because yu don't hav to feel the shadows of lonliness anymore nd it makes me so glad. Okay okay, enough. Hah. Point is, I luve yu unconditionally nd I will always be here for yu. Whether yu need me tomorrow, a year from now, or five years from now. When we come in contact again, know that you were never absent from my mind. I kno you're thinking to yourself that that will change but that's just it. It won't. I will always want the best for yu. And at the moment, I still don't care about anything but yu.

My Perception of You.

Yu are.. my pain, my inspiration.
Yu are.. my impatience, my frustration
Yu were.. forty minutes in the sun.
Yu are.. a fast food drive thru.
Yu were.. a Halloween night.
Yu are.. the stairs before the parking lot.
Yu were.. the face looking up at me from the drive way at 12:21am.
Yu were.. the 4 digit number on a silver clicker.
Yu were.. the nudge on my bottom lip.
Yu are.. the indecisivness of a possible first kiss.
Yu are.. the jump of my heart.
Yu were.. a feeling of giddiness.
Yu are.. my feeling of defeat.
Yu are... what might've been.

P.S. Key word here is Inspiration. I transform my thoughts nd feelings into words. Basically, I mean no harm or distress to a certain reader. I am extremely thankful for each nd every moment despite how it may be portrayed.

Moonstruck

I'm going insane...this irrational feeling of luve has me without reason, nothing makes sense. The worst thing is that I am aware of the effect yu hav on my sensibility...nd I can't bring myself to care. I am moonstruck. Madly in luve. My whole being clouded by this luve-crazed insanity. My every thought is stolen by yur memory...yu live in my subconscious. Every lonely silence echoes yur name. It haunts me in ways I thought weren't possible. Every empty place is burdened by yur lingering presence. Yes, indeed this is true...I am slowly losing my sanity...with every thought of yu. My memories hav tormented me and I was left undefensive. I let their voices bring me down nd rip me apart. Everything I say leaves me puzzled, I don't understand the words coming out of my mouth. Their incoherency scares me....I am going insane. The only thoughts left with reason are screaming at me, furious at my actions..at my lack of control. They are scrambled nd inaudible compared to the playful tone that once coated yur voice. Am I over the resentment? How I can hate yu, luve yu, have compassion for yu, want to destroy yu, and want to protect yu all at the same time is something that I cannot myself comprehend... Why? I ask. And then I remember why I feel so chaotic..its because I left my heart with yu, asked yu to look after it...nd yu took off running..my heart in yur hands...
xoxo, Modern Day Juliette